What?

So, has anyone ever experienced being diagnosed multiple times over the course of several years?  I have been or am…. schizophrenic, schizoaffective, borderline, multiple other personality disorders with the ultimate topper of being Bipolar through and through.  So where does that leave me?  All I know is that two psychiatrists told me that I was the most Bipolar person they had ever met.  This does not leave one feeling very good about themselves.  It’s kind of like when I broke my nose and the doctor in California said, “It’s broken in, like, a million pieces.”   Its just not very medically oriented to say these kind of things.  I guess I could care less about my nose, but my brain?  Can we just pinpoint it to one little thing?  I know, lets just say that Jesse is a crazy person.  “She is medically termed ‘crazy girl jesse’.  Just sane enough to be let loose on the world and live her little crazy life.”  See, I am not actually insane enough to be locked up.  However, I am the type of crazy that makes people feel really awkward when you talk about your life.  “How was your day, Jesse?”  … “Well, I cried a little bit this morning then I perked up and then I went out and bought things that I will probably return, oh say… in about 2 days.”  Someone please explain to me how any of this fits in with Facebook posts when everyone else is posting pictures of ACTUAL LIVES!  Trust me when I say this… everything is going to be okay.  everything is going to work out.  It may not be working out right now, or even in a few months.  You may even have to give it a year.  But please know… things do get better.  And when they do, you better damn well enjoy yourself.

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Author: jesseruth84

Trying to figure life out one minute at a time

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