All about me

When I hear someone talking as they walk down my street, I usually feel alarmed that they may be talking about me.  I hear snatches of conversation and think, “Oh no, what are they saying?”  I do not mean to be so self-absorbed, at least that’s how I feel I am being, but it just seems that way.  It really is difficult when I make a quick trip to Barnes and Noble or Hobby Lobby and hear someone laughing.   I just look at myself and what I am wearing and consider what is so damn funny.  I feel people’s eyes on me all the time and wonder what they must think and then make things up accordingly.  “She is fat and ugly.”  “She is dressed like a freak.”  I know it’s irrational but still I can not stop the progression of negative thoughts.  I rather enjoy being a little plump.  I feel like I am more invisible.  “Okay, if I just don’t make eye contact and try not to act unnatural then maybe  no one will see me and everything will be okay”  It will be okay, won’t it?

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Author: jesseruth84

Trying to figure life out one minute at a time

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